


I told you I had issues

by Bergen



Series: I told you I had issues [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Gen, Identity Reveal, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Parent Pepper Potts, Peter Parker is a Little Shit, Secret Identity, There is no May Parker and Ben Parker is OOC, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Tony Stark Has A Heart
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-07
Updated: 2018-08-06
Packaged: 2019-05-19 06:52:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 12,457
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14868842
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bergen/pseuds/Bergen
Summary: Tony Stark, genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist, and right now, a little exasperated. Because some guy is swinging around New York, shooting webs and making trouble, Fury is breathing down his neck, and his latest intern took off with his coupon for a free coffee. Thank god for Pepper Potts.





	1. Principia Mathematica

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Русский available: [Я же говорил, что у меня есть проблемы](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17562029) by [8salfeti8](https://archiveofourown.org/users/8salfeti8/pseuds/8salfeti8), [STARKER_Russian_fandom](https://archiveofourown.org/users/STARKER_Russian_fandom/pseuds/STARKER_Russian_fandom)



_Hi,_  
_Sorry._  
_I told you I had issues._  
_Anyways, I needed the money._  
_But you can have this back._  
_-Parker_

Tony stared down at the letter, feeling a strange mixture between amusement and indignation. He shook the large envelope that the note had come with, and his wallet flopped onto the counter. All his credit cards were still there. His ID, business cards and membership cards. But the wad of cash he usually carried around had disappeared. It hadn’t even been a lot that day, Tony mused. Maybe a few hundred dollars. Usually he carried more. Bad luck for the kid.

He sifted through his wallet again to double check – wait ... _Goddamn_ , fucking kid took his coupon for a free coffee.

Tony had immediately blocked the credit cards after they had been stolen, of course. But even so, the kid hadn’t tried to use them. He probably knew credit cards were too easy to trace. Smart.

But then again, Tony already knew that the kid was smart.

***

It had been two weeks prior to this that Tony received the first letter. A letter that had made him feel similarly torn between indignation and amusement. The letter had been signed by some dude named ‘Parker’, who informed him that he had read Tony’s books on commercial technology at the library that week, and proceeded to pick apart several of his explanations, and point out how the Stark tech could have been improved, even providing some calculations and lines of code. He had used the words ‘no offense’ several times in his letter, but Tony _had_ actually felt a little offended, thankyouverymuch. He was also intrigued, however. Although the books were by now a few years old, and Tony had already found and fixed most of the mentioned flaws, he was still impressed by detailed and complete analyses that this random guy had made.

Parker had given him very little to go on. No returning address, no last name. But Tony liked a challenge, and he wanted to find this man. So he tried to trace him by using the _one_ piece of information he did have: Parker had taken the books from the library. And so he asked FRIDAY to give him a list of every person with first name ‘Parker’ who had taken out his books from a public library in the past week...

...and came up with zero results.

This had thrown him for a while. But he quickly realized his mistake: Parker hadn’t taken the books _from_ the library. His letter clearly stated that he had read them _at_ the library.

And that’s why, the next day, he strolled up to the counter in the one library where, according to his data, his books hadn’t been lent out to anyone in a whole two weeks. The Forest Hills Library in Queens.

“Mr. Stark.” The young lady behind the counter greeted him with a nod, before returning to her computer screen. She didn’t say his name in the breathless sort of way most people usually did. She said it rather matter-of-factly, and entirely too unimpressed to Tony’s liking.

He leant onto the counter, sliding his sunglasses down his nose a little and eyeing her name-tag. “Hi there... Melissa. Come here often?”

Melissa glanced up at him, unfazed. “Can I help you?”

Tony scraped his throat, reminded himself why he was actually here, and pushed his sunglasses back up. “Could you, ehm.. point me in the direction of my books?”

Melissa quirked an eyebrow at him.

“I need to know who has been reading them, recently,” Tony felt obliged to explain. Christ, the woman made him feel like a schoolboy. And she was younger than him.

“You came at the right moment, then.” She replied. “Just make your way over to the youth section.”

“The youth... the _youth_ section?” Tony echoed. His outrage must have been clearly visible on his face, because Melissa actually cracked a smile. “Don’t worry. It’s not where we usually keep them. But there’s this kid who likes to come here. Like, _a lot_. And he prefers to sit there. Comfortable seats, I suppose. I’ve seen him go through all three of your books last week.”

Tony blinked at her. “And he’s a kid, is he?”

“Yeah. About fourteen? He reads stuff like that all the time. Moved on to ‘Principia Mathematica’ by now. Must be smart.”

Must be.. Tony nodded at her in acknowledgement, then turned to find the bloody youth section.

He quickly spotted the kid. Although, to be fair, the boy had clearly tried his best to become invisible. Folded up in a large armchair in a corner somewhere, a baggy hoodie, head ducked between his shoulders, silently engulfed in the freaking ‘Principia Mathematica’. The kid didn’t look up as Tony approached, pouring through the pages as though it was some sort of sensational fantasy novel.

Tony halted a few feet away from him. “Parker?”

The boy’s head jerked up and he looked at Tony, staring him square in the face for a few second, before dropping the book to the floor. “Holy SHIT!”


	2. the spider-dude

“Nice to meet you too,” Tony replied, casually flopping down in one of the other armchairs and taking of his sunglasses. “You’re the one who sent me the letter, correct?”

“Oh crap, you _were_ offended, weren’t you?” Parker asked, scrunching up his face. “I didn’t mean nothing by it, just thought you’d like to know some of those things. Usually the people whose books I read are already dead, so I can’t point their mistakes out to them.”

Tony couldn’t help but chuckle at that. “Don’t worry kid. If I had just been offended, I would have burnt the letter and gone on with my business. I wouldn’t have put this much effort in tracking you down.”

Parker looked unsure. “So... what do you want?”

“Well...” Tony rubbed his chin. “I was going to offer you a job, but that was when I still believed you were old enough to drink. How old are you exactly?”

“F-fifteen,” Parker stammered.

“Any interest in an internship at Stark Industries, Parker?”

A short silence. Parker gaped at him, mouth hanging open slightly. “You... you want me to work for you?”

“Intern. Slight difference. We’ll hammer out the details.”

“You won’t like me very much,” Parker informed him.

“Why not?”

“I have issues.”

Tony raised an eyebrow. “Kid, you do realize who you’re talking to, right?”

Parker couldn’t help a weak chuckle.

As far as Tony was concerned, everything had gone splendidly after that. He had given Parker a ride to the tower and a quick tour around his workplace. Parker had been fascinated, his eyes lighting up at each new gadget Tony showed him. Tony himself had felt a strange sense of elation. Seeing Parker enthusiastic made _him_ enthusiastic in a way he couldn’t really explain.

Yes, it had gone splendidly. Except for that little bit at the end, when he got back from a quick visit to the coffee bar downstairs, and Parker had disappeared. Along with Tony’s wallet.

And now, here he was, two weeks later, sitting at his desk with his wallet back in his hands. He felt a strange pang of regret, though. He had seen something of himself in the kid, and in fact the kid’s ‘issues’ had only made that feeling stronger. Tony had had his fair share of regrettable childhood decisions, after all. And regrettable adult-hood decisions. A lot of those, too.

There had been a few curious questions from people who had seen him bring Parker in that day. Tony hadn’t told anyone exactly how he had found the kid. Mainly because he didn’t want people to know that, yes, he had actually written books.

Obviously, he had been back to the library a few times, but Parker had vanished. Melissa had looked at him with wide, accusing eyes as she explained she hadn’t seen Parker anymore since he had gone with Tony. Tony actually felt strangely guilty. And also annoyed about feeling guilty. _It’s not my fault he took off with my money._

He had even ordered F.R.I.D.A.Y. to make him a list of all fifteen-year-olds named Parker in New York. He had gotten a list of about thirty kids, but not the one he was looking for. Parker had clearly given him a fake name. Or a fake age. Or both.

He felt frustrated, too. An internship at Stark Tower was not an offer he easily made to anyone, and he knew it would have been good for the kid. And the glee on Parker’s face had been real. Why the hell would he decide to just take off with a lousy wallet instead of getting the internship of a lifetime?

Tony was shaken from his thoughts when Pepper entered the room. “Still sulking, are you?”

“I’m not sulking. I’m contemplating,” Tony informed her with a slight pout.

Pepper smiled. “Well, whenever you’re done contemplating, there’s about a million executive decisions that need to be approved.”

“Fake my autograph,” Tony suggested.

Pepper carried on as though she hadn’t heard him. “Also, Nick Fury wants to talk to you. It’s about that Spider-man.”

Tony wiped a hand across his face. “What’d he do wrong this time?”

“Actually, nothing. He saved a family from a fire. Fury is annoyed.”

Tony frowned. “Huh. Why?”

“You know him. He prefers the world in black and white. The bad guys have to be bad and the good guys have to be good.”

Tony sighed and leant back in his chair. The Spider-Man was just another nail to his coffin these days. Annoying, more than actually dangerous. A clearly enhanced human, swinging around New York and pulling all sorts of crap. Nothing major, which is why it annoyed the hell out of him that Fury felt like he needed to call in a meeting whenever the guy did something. A few days ago, he had stolen a bike. _A bike_. Last week, he had done damage to some cars by swinging around a little too enthusiastically. Not even on purpose, probably. Tony’s favorite was that time when the Spider-Man was spotted covering the nose of the statue of liberty in graffiti.

It was hardly something the Avengers needed to concern themselves with. But Tony did understand that the NYPD’s hands were tied. And that Fury feared that it wouldn’t take too long for these minor incidents to turn into major incidents. Still, it wasn’t his favourite way to pass time: flying randomly around New York, hoping to catch a glimpse of the Spider-dude in his red and blue onesie.

“Fine, I’ll talk to him,” he promised Pepper. “And seriously. Fake my autographs.”


	3. Captain 'goody-two-shoes' America

“I’m fully aware of all your complaints, Tony, as I’ve heard them multiple times by now. But the fact remains that there’s a guy out there who enjoys the fact that he can break the law and get away with it. It will go to his head sooner or later. He already robbed a supermarket once. It won’t be long until we actually see people injured because of him.”

Tony swivelled in his chair, avoiding looking at his computer screen from where Fury was communicating with him. “Remind me, Nick, weren’t you calling me just now because the guy actually _saved_ a family from a fire?”

Fury growled under his breath. “Fine! Yes. He saved a family. And last week he got someone’s cat down from a tree. And he made headlines when people spotted him picking up garbage in the goddamn park, for fucks sake. Someone snapped a picture and the newspapers loved it. What is he playing at, Tony?”

“You’re asking me? I don’t know the guy. He’s probably just bored.”

“He’s dangerous,” Fury barked. “Can you please just put a little more effort into finding out who this guy really is? You have the best A.I. available to mankind, and a group of super-humans crashing on your sofa’s. Make use of them.”

“Why don’t the SHIELD agents concern themselves with bringing in this.. minor offender?” Tony asked, getting a little annoyed. “My team was battling Aliens less than a month ago, do you seriously suggest I send them after a petty thief?”

Nick Fury blew out a long, annoyed breath. “You know what? I’ll just call Rogers. He’s always more cooperative."

“Yeah, you’re right, he’s a pushover,” Tony agreed. “Have fun talking to him!”

He turned off the screen before Fury could say anything else.

Obviously, Captain ‘goody-two-shoes’ America didn’t hesitate a moment before grabbing his shield and heading out the door to track down the infamous Spider-Man. Tony watched him leave the tower as he was taking the elevator from the eleventh floor down to the coffee bar.

As annoying as Steve’s work ethic was to him, he still hoped the mission would be successful. At least that way Fury would get off his back for a while.

He called Forest Hills Library again, just for good measure. Melissa seemed to have warmed up to him by now, and patiently explained that no, Parker still hadn’t been back to the library. She probably thought he was worried about the kid. _Worried, hah._

He finally decided to get his mind off things by going down to his workshop and work on his suits. Soon, he was immersed in his latest gadget, and a few hours went by unnoticed. Finally, F.R.I.D.A.Y. voice filled the air. “Ms Romanov is requesting your presence in the lobby.”

Tony looked at his watch, frowned. “Why?”

“She seems to be unable to form coherent enough sentences to explain further.” F.R.I.D.A.Y. said.

Tony looked up at that. “Wh- is she in trouble?”

“No,” replied F.R.I.D.A.Y. with the majestic calm only an A.I. possesses. “She is laughing.”

The elevator doors opened into the lobby, and the first thing Tony saw was Natasha, literally rolling on the floor in laughter.

The second thing he saw was Steve, looking extremely disgruntled. He was still wearing the suit, but the shield was gone.

“T-tony-” Natasha gasped. “Hear this, you’re going to piss yourself.”

“What is it?”

Steve did not seem eager to share, so Natasha took a few big gulps of air. “He- he found the Spider-guy.”

“And..?”

“And followed him for a while.”

“And..?”

“In an alley he suddenly lost sight of him, but then the guy jumped up behind him and.. and..”

“And what?”

“He stole my shield, okay?” Steve said angrily. “Little shithead webbed it from my hands and then just took off. He is really goddamn fast!”

“Language!” Natasha crowed at him.

“Piss off.” Steve muttered.

Tony tried not to laugh, he really did. He tried to remind himself that this probably meant another call from Fury. But he couldn’t help it. The image of Steve trying to be the neighbourhood watch, only to be one-upped by the Spider-man was pure gold.

Steve frowned at the chortling Tony. “Thanks a lot,” he muttered.

“In all fairness, though.” Tony said, pulling himself together. “This might not be a bad thing. There’s a tracker on that shield. Maybe it will lead us straight to the Spider-Man’s lair.

When, half an hour later, Tony, Steve and Natasha pulled up next to a bunch of storage lockers, Tony had to admit that the Spider-Man was not only strong and fast, but apparently also smart. The red, white and blue shield was hidden behind a few bins and carried a little note.

 _Sorry about that!_  
_You probably need this to save the world and what-not._  
_Big fan of your PSA’s._  
_-Spider-Man_


	4. If you're going to shoot someone..

“Tony, we should probably try and.. you know.. _not_ do this anymore,” Happy said one day. “The kid is clearly not coming back here. And if he _would_ come back, it sure won’t be at 11 PM. The library has been closed for hours. It’s just a wallet.”

“It’s not just a wallet, it’s more personal,” Tony said. “It’s about a coupon for free coffee. I could have had a free coffee today. _Did_ I have a free coffee today?”

“They gave you coffee at the conference.”

“Conference-coffee doesn’t count as actual coffee, are you kidding me? I’m talking about a tall, non-fat vanilla latte with soy milk. The type you pay ten bucks for.”

Happy remained unsympathetic. “You only drink black coffee.”

“Yes, but the point is that I could have _had_ one. For _free_.”

“You’re a billionaire,” Happy pointed out.

They were currently parked outside Forest Hills Library. Tony had forced Happy to make this detour whenever they were even slightly in the area. Sometimes he went inside to talk to Melissa, sometimes he just stared at the entrance for a while.

He wasn’t sure what the hell was wrong with him. He wasn’t used to caring this much about a person he barely knew. Hell, he wasn’t even used to caring this much about a person he _did_ know.

Tony was interrupted from his musings when a loud BANG was heard nearby, resonating between the buildings. Happy jumped in his seat. “Was that a gun?”

“Wait here,” Tony said, and he jumped out the car, fiddling with his suit’s bracelets. It would take his armor a minute or two to reach him, but he could at least survey the scene. He rushed down an alley. Here and there, he saw worried faces peeking around curtains. Someone would probably already have called the police.

Tony turned another corner and saw them in the distance; three men standing around a van. A man in a large raincoat had his gun pointed at another, while a chubby guy seemed to be trying to calm them down. Tony rushed closer, keeping his head down, but someone else got there first:

“Hey, come on! If you’re going to shoot someone, shoot at me!”

Tony froze where he was, still hidden in de shadows of the alleyway, as he saw Spider-Man drop down from a roof and hold up his hands.

The man who was holding the gun didn’t even blink. “Done.” He said, and turned his gun on Spider-Man. Before he could pull the trigger, Spider-man shot a web at the gun and pulled it from the man’s hand.

“You know, you’re visiting me in my neighbourhood, but you’re being very rude guests.” Spider-Man exclaimed as he jumped against a wall. Tony noticed the high pitch in his voice. “That’s the second time this week, raincoat!”

The man in the raincoat growled at him and charged at with his bare fists, while the third man who had been the target moments ago, wasted no time in jumping in his car, slamming the door. He drove off with screeching tires.

Spider-Man deftly avoided a punch from ‘raincoat’ and jumped around him again. “Ha! You know, you seemed quicker last time! Didn’t get enough sleep last night?”

Jesus, did this guy ever shut up? Tony looked up at the sky. His armor should be here any second and then he could jump in and _hopefully_ even manage to capture Spider-man while keeping everyone alive.

Spider-Man jumped on top of a car, swung around a lamppost and kicked Raincoat in the chest with both feet. The man fell back against a wall and stayed down, groaning slightly.

Spider-Man looked up to the sky now, and Tony heard it too: His armor was flying towards him with a whizzing noise. But before it reached him, another deafening BANG filled the air.

Tony turned and saw the chubby guy, who had hidden behind the van during the fight. A gun with smoking barrel in his hand. And suddenly Spider-Man wasn’t talking anymore, but instead clutching his stomach, seeming dazed.

As Tony’s armor closed around him, he jumped forward from the alleyway. The chubby guy took one look at him and bolted.

The Spider-man looked up, too. “Well. Fuck.” He said, and then promptly keeled over.

  
  


'Fuck' was right, Tony thought as he rushed forward, stepping out of his suit again in order to kneel next to the guy.

"Please tell me you have some kind of super-human healing ability?" He said.

"Nngh.." was the only response he got.

Right. Put pressure on the wound. _But also.. take off the mask._ He reached forward.

"N-NO!" Spider-Man groaned. "N-don't - I'll heal - fast enough - _don't_ \--" and then seemingly blacked out.

Tony hesitated for another second, but then grabbed a fist-full of cloth and pulled off the mask. _Just to make sure the Spider-dude was still conscious, of course_. He gulped in a breath, the mask fluttering to the ground, as he was staring straight in the face of his mathemetical genius, coffee-stealing and very much _underage_ almost-intern, Parker.

'Fuck', indeed.


	5. Meeting Peter

The car-ride home had been a stressful affair, with Happy yelling at him that he had lost his mind and Tony yelling back at him to just _drive_ before the kid bled out. Once Doctor Cho had examined him and assured Tony that the kid clearly had an enhanced ability to heal, the levels of stress lowered significantly. Doctor Cho had patched the kid up, and Tony had left him on the couch in the eleventh floor lobby to sleep off the anaesthesia while he went and tried to solve this mess.

That had been last night. Tony hadn’t been able to sleep after that, and had been tinkering away in his workshop all night, when F.R.I.D.A.Y. informed him that Parker had woken up and was currently trying to open one of the windows on his floor. So the kid was planning to climb down the side of a fully glass building from the eleventh floor, huh? Impressive faith in his own adhesiveness. Tony glanced at the clock. It was early morning and he was starting to feel a little hungry. “All right, F.R.I.D.A.Y., thanks for letting me know. I’ll go up there.”

He set his tools down and made his way over to the elevator. No rush, of course. The Stark tower was an armed fortress as much as it was a company. The tower was home to a legion of super heroes on a regular basis, after all. It was extremely difficult for any potential villains to make their way in, and just as difficult for a stubborn teenager with superpowers to get out.

By the time he had made it up to the eleventh floor, it was deserted. “F.R.I.D.A.Y., where’s the kid at?”

“Mr. Parker is currently trying to escape the tower via the roof.” F.R.I.D.A.Y. informed him. “So far, he is not successful.”

“Obviously,” Tony muttered to himself, before raising his voice again. “Okay, F.R.I.D.A.Y., just let him know that breakfast is on the table whenever he gets tired of trying.”

It was a good twenty minutes later when Tony finally heard a scuffling noise and Parker dropped down from the ceiling somewhere, looking chagrined. Tony just raised his eyebrows at him. “Did you really think I would not have anticipated this?”

Parker studied his nails, a bored expression on his face. “You know, I could have gotten out, but I was getting a little hungry.” He didn’t seem intimidated in the least.

“Good. I made grilled cheese.” Tony pushed a plate his way. “Sit down. We have a lot to discuss.”

Parker looked unbothered by that remark, instead focussing all his attention on the food in front of him, wolfing down the grilled cheese sandwich with an appetite that was... well... probably to be expected from a teenager with an increased metabolism.

Tony leaned back, crossing him arms, examining the boy opposite him. “So... Spider-man, huh? The ‘spider’-part I get, but where does the ‘man’-part come in?”

“Funny.” Parker said, in between bites.

“That web shooting stuff is impressive. Who manufactured that?”

“I did. Patent pending.”

Tony had expected that answer, but was impressed nonetheless. Sure, the kid was a genius, but to actually invent a chemical substance that did not yet exist? _He’s like a mini-me_. “I noticed your ‘suit’ – at the lack of a better term – doesn’t have adhesive gloves.”

“Nope, and it doesn’t have rear-view mirrors either.”

Tony ignored the sarcastic comment. “So that’s you? You have like super-sticky fingers?” He looked at Parker’s hands.

Parker looked down at them, too. Shrugged. “I know it’s kinda weird, but it comes in handy.”

Handy. Right. For robbing supermarkets. Tony decided it was high time to broach a more pressing subject. “Let’s move on to your name. I know it’s not Parker. I’d like to know who exactly I’m talking to here.”

Parker scoffed. “Why, so you can google me?”

“Obviously.” Tony said.

Parker returned to his grilled cheese.

Tony let the silence linger for about half a minute before speaking up again. “I’m sure you are aware that Spider-man is considered a ‘menace’. A dangerous mutant, using his superpowers to wreak havoc on the city of New York.”

Parker grinned. “Dramatic, much?”

“You have been robbing supermarkets.”

“One supermarket,” Parker corrected him. “And I rescued a dog from a pond right after.”

Tony cocked his head. “I know. You’re a bit of a schizophrenic superhero, aren’t you?”

“Possibly.” Parker wiped his mouth with his sleeve. “Got more of these?”

Tony looked down at his own grilled cheese that was still untouched. He slid the plate over to Parker. “Have at it. Ever heard of S.H.I.E.L.D.?”

“Vaguely.”

“They are a branch of government dealing with superhuman threats. They’ve taken an interest in you.”

Parker looked up at that, seeming mildly uneasy for the first time. “Because of a supermarket?”

Tony frowned at him. “A superhuman using his powers to break the law is never a good sign, even if it starts small. You never know where it ends up. Fury, the big boss himself, argued that you committed an armed robbery, considering you went in wearing your onesie, and with your little web shooting things ablazing. The sentence for armed robbery is a minimum of ten to a maximum of twenty years.”

“I didn’t hurt anyone!” Parker protested, looking pale.

“Yeah, lucky you, you’ll probably get away with ten years. They’d send you to a normal prison, except that obviously you could easily get out. Which is why Fury was more tempted to take you down to their maximum security lock-up called ‘the raft’, an underwater prison somewhere in the middle of the ocean. Prisoners have no contact with the outside world. No visitors.”

Parker looked frozen in his seat. Which was excellent, because Tony hadn’t been sure if the kid would be buying into his bluff. In reality, when he told Fury the whole story last night, the man had been at loss of how to deal with an underage enhanced who spent half his time helping old ladies cross the street, and the other half knocking their purses out of their hands. Tony had promised Fury that he would find a way to deal with the kid. Was threatening him with solitary confinement the way to achieve that? Well.. why not?

“Lucky for you, you’re also a minor. Which still means something, even in super-human-land. I convinced Fury to give you another shot. I know you have good qualities. You are insanely intelligent, and apparently you are willing to help people when you’re in the right mood for it. So you’re getting another chance, but I’m going to be keeping tabs on you. No more abusing your superpowers. And you _will_ be doing that internship we discussed a while ago. I want you under my supervision, assisting the avengers rather than making their lives more difficult. Do you agree to the terms?”

Parker opened and closed his mouth a few times, then swallowed. “Do I have a choice?”

Tony shrugged. “I guess not. So, let’s try this again. What’s your name?”

Parker gave a crooked smile, a little colour returning to his face. “It actually _is_ Parker, you know.”

“Don’t even start,” Tony warned him. “My A.I. is the best one in the universe. If your name is actually Parker, she would have found-”

“It’s my _last_ name, Mr. Billionaire,” Parker interrupted him.

Tony paused. “Ah. Right. What’s you first name?”

“Peter”

“F.R.I.D.A.Y.?” Tony asked.

“Peter Parker, 15 years old. Born to Richard and Mary Parker. Current resident of 20 Ingram Street in Forest Hills, Queens. Attended Midtown School of Science and Technology until seven months ago.” F.R.I.D.A.Y. summed up.  
Tony lifted his eyebrows at Peter. “What happened there?”

Peter shrugged. “Just stopped going.”

“Well, you’re going back there.” Tony informed him. “Also part of our terms.”

Peter pulled a face as he picked up the rest of his grilled cheese. He already looked like his old, pubescent self again; As if he hadn’t been threatened with a decade of prison-time only minutes ago. “Is this internship a paid thing?”

“You really think you’re in any position to make demands?”

“It’s not a demand. I’m just saying, if you don’t want me to rob a supermarket, you’re going to have to give me a bank account. Food is not free.”

Tony stared at him. “What’s wrong with the food at your parents’ house?”

Peter gave his crooked smile again, lifted a finger. “Uhm – F.R.I.D.A.Y.?”

F.R.I.D.A.Y.’s voice filled the room. “Richard and May Parker died in an airplane crash seven years ago. Peter Parker’s legal guardianship passed to Richard’s brother Ben Parker, current resident of 20 Ingram Street in Forest Hills, Queens.”

Tony’s eyes widened. “Shit, sorry about that, kid.”

Peter shrugged in a way that didn’t look as nonchalant as he was probably hoping for. “Long time ago.”

Tony eyed him for a while. “All right. Well then... what’s wrong with the food at your uncles house?”

“I don’t actually stay there,” Peter informed him. “He’s a bit of an asshole. You’d think that would make us perfectly compatible, but no. And he doesn’t have any food around the house anyways. Spends all his money on booze.”

Tony leant back in his chair, stapling his fingers together. “Let me get this straight. You rob supermarkets because you’re _homeless_?”

Peter shrugged. “I’m not going to pretend that I’m not just a messed up shit as well. Also, technically, I’m not homeless because I usually sleep in my uncle’s storage locker.”

Tony gazed at the teen as he swallowed the last of his grilled cheese.

This was going to be slightly more complicated than he’d anticipated.


	6. Mrs. Hemsley

The door to Pepper’s office had been shut all morning. She did not want to be disturbed. What exactly she was doing, none of the Avengers knew. They had quietly asked each other if anyone knew why Pepper seemed stressed today, or why Tony had left that morning to go to what he described as a ‘super-classified get-together’.

Pepper was striding up and down the study as she talked. “We need someone who can tweak the system from the inside. Don't tell me you can't, I've seen you pull off far bigger stunts.”

“Of course I _can_.” Fury barked, his face filling up the screen. “It's not a question of ability. I have the access, but I do not feel that I have the authority to decide about what is essentially a family court custody case.”

Pepper rolled her eyes. “No one does! Not with him! Because no actual authority on child care can ever know all the facts about this kid. We might not be psychologists, but we do have all the facts. And this is not just a custody case, this is a security issue and that concerns you. He's an enhanced. We’re sure as hell not letting him stay in his current situation. But he can't just go to any random foster family and you know it. It’s in S.H.I.E.L.D.’s best interest that he stays here, too.”

Nick Fury sighed, rubbed his head. “Fine, you’re right I suppose. The only reason I’m even considering this is because you’re the one asking.”

Pepper leant over the desk, smiling. “I know. That's why I’m the one asking.”

“Because Tony is going to make a crappy guardian.” Nick Fury warned her.

“No he won’t,” Pepper waved her hand. “He won’t be perfect, but he might be just what the boy needs.”

Fury still looked skeptical. “The kid has been told about this evil scheme, hasn’t he? See if he doesn't get a full blown panic attack at the prospect of actually being adopted by the two of _you_ -”

“He’s thrilled, actually.” Pepper said, a little coolly. ‘Thrilled’ was an overstatement, but it hadn’t taken a lot of convincing, either. Peter had shrugged his consent and returned to his cereal. Pepper had the feeling that the boy was used to just sort of rolling with whatever life threw at him. She wasn’t sure whether that was a good or a bad sign.

The uncle had rolled over even faster. Pepper had talked to him on the phone that morning and, after expressing his surprise that his nephew was even still alive, he had been more than glad to give up his right to custody. Pepper had brought up visitation rights, but the man hadn’t been remotely interested. Bastard.

“Where is Tony at, by the way?” Fury asked.

Tony was, at that very moment, somewhere he never thought he’d ever end up again: the principal’s office. He had been happy to leave all that guardianship-stuff to Pepper, but less happy when she suggested he should then be in charge of getting Peter back into high-school. Which meant convincing the principal, Mrs Hemsley, of Peter’s good intentions.

If he had to be perfectly honest, he couldn’t blame her for being skeptical. Before arranging the meeting, Tony had sat Peter down and asked him to explain honestly and clearly, without leaving out any details, exactly how deplorable his behaviour had been over the course of his high school career. The counts of absence, detentions and failed classes were all things he could have dealt with. But the look on Peter’s face clearly showed that even he knew his chances weren’t great when he explained how he had actually _punched a teacher in the face_ on his final day.

Well, Tony could sympathise, of course. But he also realized the school wouldn’t be thrilled to have Peter back. Which is why he’d been spending the last half hour trying to sweet-talk Mrs Hemsley, while Peter sat silently beside him.

The principle looked at Tony over the edge of her spectacles. “Mr. Stark, you’ve certainly said your piece. Now, if Mr. Parker wants to stand a chance of being let back in, I will be needing a few minutes alone with him to discuss _his_ view on the matter.”

“I’m basically his lawyer,” Tony said. “He has a right to have someone speak on his behalf, don’t you think? Or maybe you should just outright admit that this place is not a school for smart kids, but a school for privileged kids. Where the ones with a more difficult background don’t stand a chance of succeeding.”

Mrs Hemsley glowered at him. “Mr. Stark, we have plenty of students here who are struggling in their home life. But they manage to overcome those obstacles without resorting to violence and vandalism. A few minutes alone with Mr. Parker, please.”

“Just go,” Peter advised him. “What, you think she’ll stab me? ... Or that I’ll stab her?”

Not the best remark under the circumstances.

Tony waited outside in the hallway for what turned out to be closer to twenty minutes before the door opened again. Peter came out first. He was pale and avoided Tony’s eyes, instead turning his back on him and staring towards the front door.

Tony was about to launch into another speech, convinced that the damn principal had refused to let Peter back in, but Mrs Hemsley spoke first, leaning against the doorpost with her arms crossed. “Is Mr. Parker receiving counselling or some other form of therapy?”

Tony blinked. He saw Peter tense up. “Uhm.. well..”

“It is a condition for his return to this school. He can make an appointment with our counsellor on Monday unless you want to make other arrangements.” Mrs Hemsley told him, her foot tapping slightly against the hallway tiles. “Obviously, I expect him to arrange for the right books as quickly as possible. I gave him a list. See that he gets everything. And even more obviously, I henceforth expect him to be an exemplary student.”

“Ah – yes.” Tony said. “I’m sure Peter will do his best.”

“I’m sure he will too, with the proper guidance,” Mrs Hemsley replied, not at all subtle. “Thank you for coming in, and I’ll see you at the next parent-teacher’s conference.”

The door to her office was shut before Tony could even process that last part of her sentence.

He looked at Peter, who was still facing away from him. Right.

He jumped up and started towards the front door. Peter quickly followed.

“Did she really just say ‘henceforth’?” Tony said, smiling.

Peter didn’t smile back.


	7. Vegas

The drive back to the tower was quiet. Peter was staring out the window and remained uncharacteristically silent. He didn’t even comment on Tony’s abhorrent choice of music.

When they pulled into the parking spot outside Stark Towers, Tony motioned at Peter to remain in his seat. He drummed his fingers against the steering wheel, eyeing Peter up and down. “So what’d she say to you?” He asked bluntly. “Or are you just this depressed over the prospect of going back to school?”

Peter shrugged. “No, I’m kinda happy to be going back.”

“What, then?” Tony said. “Something’s bugging you.”

Peter seemed to be thinking for a while. He stared at his hands, which were balled up inside his sleeves.

“Come on, kid,” Tony said. “This car is like Vegas!”

At Peter’s questioning look, he added: “What happens in this car, stays in this car. Whatever is said here, is between the two of us. No one else.”

The corners of Peter’s mouth quirked a little, before he went back to staring at his sleeves. The silence lingered. Just as Tony was about to say something else, Peter pulled his legs up to his chest and sat sideways in his seat, facing Tony.

“Mrs Hemsley said that Faris was suspended,” he said quietly, this time with his eyes trained at his knees.

Tony raised his eyebrows. “The teacher you slugged? Why?”

“They found out he, like, groped some of the students,” Peter said.

Tony felt his stomach drop to his feet. _Oh shit - he shouldn't have asked. This was Pepper's stuff_. He had no idea what to say next. Thankfully, Peter continued. “Mrs Hemsley wanted to know why I hit him. He’s still under investigation and stuff and she said..” he swallowed, “she said my statement would make a difference. And I realize that it does, but I don’t want to stab my friend in the back. I promised her never to tell, and I know she really doesn’t want anyone to find out.”

Tony let out a long breath, unclenching his hands from around the steering wheel. It was perhaps a little selfish to be relieved that _someone else_ had been a victim. But he really didn’t think he could have handled something like this on top of everything else.

“She told you what happened to her, and that’s why you attacked him?” He clarified.

“Sort of,” Peter murmured, fiddling with his sleeves. “I don’t know what to do, now.”

“Talk to your friend,” Tony suggested.

Peter pursed his lips, didn’t reply. He didn’t seem thrilled about the suggestion.

Tony had thought of something else, however. “Did the principal say giving a statement was a condition for coming back to school?” He asked sharply.

Parker shook his head. “She did say that she would never let a student back in who had attacked a teacher. You know. Under normal circumstances. But I don’t hit teachers under normal circumstances, because I’m not a complete asshat! And I always kinda liked going to school. I didn’t skip because I was too lazy or anything, just sometimes I had other stuff going on.”

“Did you tell her all that?”

“Yeah, but she already knew most of that anyways,” Peter said. “It’s not like this was my first time in the principal’s office.”

“Right...” Tony nodded. “So... therapy?”

Peter shrugged. “I’ll go see Darcy on Monday.”

“You don’t have to go to the school counsellor,” Tony said. “I can get you the best therapist in the country.”

“Sure,” Peter said, looking a little annoyed for some reason. “I’ll go see Darcy, though. I like her. She knows me.”

“Right..” Tony said again, silently kicking himself because _of course Peter would be a regular visitor to the school therapist and why was he so bad at dealing with this?_ “Cool. Uhm, good talk.”

He hoped that the kid would take that as his cue to jump out, but instead Peter looked back up at him, searching his face. He looked more curious than grumpy, now.

“You don’t have to do this, you know,” he finally said, his tone slightly flat.

“Do what?” Tony asked.

“Try and... I don’t know... be my shrink. I’ll do the internship as we agreed, and I won’t rob any banks as long as you keep feeding me. I’ve been this way my whole life, I know how to deal with myself. I know you have better things to do.”

Part of Tony’s conscience told him that he should probably say something at this point. Protest. Reassure. Comfort. But before he could think of a single thing to say, Peter had left the car.

The thing was – Tony mused as he watched Peter trudge back to the tower – he _didn’t_ want to be a shrink. He _wasn’t_ good at talking about feelings. He _couldn’t_ be an actual guardian to Peter in a way that actually mattered. When he and Pepper had agreed last night, rather hastily, on taking the boy under their wing, they had told each other that they wouldn’t be perfect guardians, but that they were probably the best fit for an enhanced teenager.

Now, in the light of day, Tony wasn’t so sure anymore.


	8. Kids in the twenty-first century

Thank god for Pepper.

She took to their improvised parenthood like a duck to water. Peter seemed a lot more relaxed around her than he did around Tony. At first, Tony had been a little offended about that. But when Peter met some of the other Avengers, immediately hit it off with Natasha but didn’t even talk when Steve was around, he started to realize that Peter’s guardedness probably had more to do with his uncle’s less-than-stellar parenting skills.

“Don’t take it personally,” he had told Steve, who looked like a kicked puppy after Peter had hastily declined his offer to build a LEGO-death star together. “Kid just needs to realize that not all adult men are assholes. He’ll come around.”

The other Avengers had been previously unaware that Tony had chased Spider-Man down two weeks earlier, but they had been informed of the situation a few days ago. Steve had puffed up at the mention of Spider-Man, only to deflate completely once he heard they were talking about a fifteen-year-old kid. He had immediately started researching what kids that age liked to do in the twenty-first century, and had brought back a large box of LEGO the next day with an excited look on his face.

Oh, well.

After their extremely awkward car ride where Tony had given that whole cringey ‘my car is like Vegas’-speech, Tony had proclaimed to Pepper that he was officially going to _suck_ at this. She had just smiled and told him to ‘be there for Peter in the way he knew how’. By helping him use his intelligence to create awesome things, and teach him how to use his enhanced powers for good.

This new arrangement was a huge relieve. Tony could hang out with Peter in his workshop. He could enjoy being his sarcastic self, and Peter could enjoy working on technical challenges. Peter seemed more relaxed with the new arrangement, too, if his constant stream of comments were anything to go on. To be honest, the moments Peter seemed most content were whenever he was completely immersed in a project. These days, they were working on a new Spider-Man suit together. Tony had told Peter that, once the new suit was ready, he would allow Peter to go ‘Spider-Manning’ in it – as long as he promised to stick to helping kids find their lost dog and stuff like that. Peter’s face had lit up at that.

Anything that had even remotely to do with feelings, emotions or personal issues, he left to Pepper.

Right now, for example, Pepper was cross-examining Peter about his whereabouts that morning, after she had entered his room to call him down for breakfast and found it empty.

“I _was_ in my room!” Peter said, looking frustrated.

“I was in your room, too, and you weren’t there.” Pepper replied. “F.R.I.D.A.Y., where was Peter this morning?”

“Peter Parker was in his room, sleeping under his bed.”

“Sleeping _under_ his bed.” Pepper repeated, straight faced. “Since when has that been a thing?”

“Peter Parker has been sleeping under his bed since his first night here.” F.R.I.D.A.Y. happily supplied.

“SHUT UP!” Peter yelled at the ceiling.

“Access denied, command ‘shut up’ not recognized.” F.R.I.D.A.Y. responded smoothly.

Peter slammed his fork back down onto the table. “Your A.I. is such a fucking squeal, ever heard of privacy?”

“Remember why you’re here?” Pepper said. “Let me remind you; it was armed robbery. It will be a while before you’ve earned back your right to privacy. Also, why the hell are you sleeping under the bed?”

“I sleep better there,” Peter said, still grumpy. “The room is too big. Maybe I should have told you this, but I have issues. Oh, wait, I _did_ tell you that.”

Pepper sighed. “You want us to get you a smaller room?”

Peter looked at her, a hint of surprise in his eyes. “What?”

“A smaller room,” Pepper said, slightly impatient. “If you don’t like your room, you can tell me, you know. You have to sleep in there, after all. I want you to feel comfortable.”

“... Right.” Was all Peter replied to that.

“Maybe we should go back to that storage locker sometime,” Pepper mused, half to herself. “We only grabbed your clothes and school supplies last time. I’m sure you have more stuff there. We can get your pillow, if that would help you sleep better.”

“No,” Peter said. “I want to leave some stuff there for when I’m going back.”

A beat of silence.

“Come again?” Pepper said, her voice sounding strained.

Peter rolled his eyes. “Not like I’m going to run away. Just – when this thing here is over and I go back, I don’t want to have to move all my stuff again.”

“When _this thing_ is over?” Pepper echoed. “What exactly do you think _this thing_ is? Did you even register everything we have told you? We are your legal guardians now – the bloody FBI pretty much arranged for it!”

“I know..” Peter said, clearly not understanding why she seemed angry. “And they can, uhm, _un-arrange_ it just as easily, right?”

Pepper was clenching the armrests of her chair. “That’s not going to happen,” she exclaimed. “We promised to take care of you. For as long as you need a guardian.”

“Until you get tired of me.”

“We won’t get tired of you.” Pepper said.

“Uhuh.”

“We _won’t!_ ”

“Trust me, you will.”

Tony finally chose that moment to chime in. “Well, you know, I got tired of Cap years ago, and he’s still here, so...”

The two of them turned to look at him. Pepper looked incredulous and a tiny bit murderous, but Peter actually had a little smile playing on his lips. Tony smiled back.


	9. the LEGO death star

It wasn’t until week four that Peter somewhat tentatively asked if he could bring a friend home to work on a project together. Pepper had been excited that Peter now felt comfortable enough around them to bring people over. Tony had been excited because he was looking forward to wiping the floor with whatever punk the kid would bring with him.

When F.R.I.D.A.Y. announced that Peter had entered the compound with another boy his age, Tony’s head shot up.

“Tony, don’t drill them.” Pepper warned him. “Bringing a friend home is a huge step for Peter. Don’t make him regret it. I’m sure his friend is a lovely kid.”

“Lovely. Yes. I’m sure over the years they’ve made a _lovely_ team. Vandalizing property together, skipping school.. probably smoking weed.”

“Are you just listing your own high school achievements right now?” Pepper asked, one eyebrow lifted.

Tony’s retort was cut short by the elevator doors opening. Peter stepped out, and behind him was the most innocent looking kid Tony had ever seen: Chubby, with glasses and a huge backpack, his eyes bulging and his mouth hanging open as he took in the whole room. “Oh my god, I can’t believe this is your life now.” The boy said, breathless. He turned and his eyes fell on Tony. “I- Oh- Oh wow. You’re my favourite action toy!”

“Thank you, kid, that isn’t weird at all,” Tony replied, hiding his surprise. He looked at Peter. “Introduce us?”

“Right,” Peter said, still looking a bit nervous. “This is Ned. Ned, this is Mr. Stark and Ms. Potts.”

“Wow,” Ned said again. “Mister Iron Man Stark, sir. This is so – I mean - ” he turned to Pepper. “Nice to meet you, ma’am. I’m sure if they had an action figure of you, it would be my favourite, too. Wait, that was a weird thing to say, wasn’t it?”

“We’re happy to have you,” Pepper said, warmly. “Call us Tony and Pepper. God knows Peter should have started doing that weeks ago. I understand Peter will be helping you with a project?”

Ned gave a sheepish grin. “Right. A project. I _reeeally_ need his help to- wait, is that the new LEGO death star? That is so cool, how many pieces?” Ned grabbed the box from the table.

“It’s not mine,” Peter said, and Ned dropped the box back down, looking disappointed.

“It kind of _is_ yours,” Tony argued. “Cap got it for _you_. But if you’re going to play, I’m sure he’d like to be invited.”

“Build a LEGO death star with Captain America? Uhm – YES PLEASE!” Ned bobbed up and down so excitedly that his glasses almost slid off his nose.

“I thought we had to do your chemistry project,” Peter said with a slight frown.

A somewhat guilty look crossed Ned’s face. “Right. The chemistry project. Here’s the thing – it doesn’t exist. I just wanted to hang with you.”

Peter didn’t even look surprised or angry, just resigned. “Of course. Well – Cap’s probably busy, so - ”

“Actually, I believe he was just taking a nap.” Pepper said. “I’ll go check, if you want.”

“C’mon Peter, can we build this thing together? C’mon, please?” Ned danced around his friend. “I know you like this stuff. And I’ll sit between you if you prefer.” The casual comment showed how well Ned knew Peter.

Peter pursed his lips, but then slowly nodded.

-

“So, Ned..” Tony said, once Pepper had left the room. “Are you in Peter’s new class?”

“No. We’ve been friends since way back. We were in the same class until last year. I was really angry with him at first. You know. Because he left and then he didn’t answer my calls,” Ned confided in him, with a serious expression. “When he came back, I didn’t talk to him for – like – the first half of the lunch break.”

“Rough.” Tony said. He saw Peter crack a smile from the corner of his eye. “So you came around eventually, huh?”

“Yeah, I can’t stay mad for too long. We were best friends again by the end of lunch break. It sucks that we’re not in the same class anymore. But hey, at least this way I can pretend I have important assignments and desperately need his help. I do it all the time.”

“Then how come we haven’t seen you before, Ned?”

Ned shrugged. “I guess we’re just used to always coming back to my house. What with his uncle being a total jerk and all. After a while I realized that this time Peter does have a proper home we can actually go to. So I convinced him to take me here.”

Tony nodded. Part of him wanted to know exactly _how much_ Ned had known and for _how long_. Another part of him was quietly chanting _‘leave the personal stuff to Pepper’_. He had that awkward feeling in his stomach again, so he decided to broach a different subject. “So, tell me again how I’m your favourite action figure?”

Peter rolled his eyes.

Pepper entered again a little while later, with both Steve and Natasha in her wake. Steve looked more excited than Tony had ever seen him.

“Natasha wanted to help, too,” Pepper said. Peter looked relieved.

Once everyone had settled in, Tony returned to his workshop, but Pepper sat on the couch, reading a newspaper and pretending not to observe them. Steve immediately grabbed the manual, because of course he did, and protested when Natasha just reached for some pieces and started building. “You need to _plan_ something like this.” He said, waving the giant manual. “The rules are there for a reason.”

Peter pulled a face, but then said: “He’s kinda right. If we mess up at the beginning we’re going to end up having to start the whole thing over.”

Steve’s whole face lit up at Peter taking his side. _He’s such a sap_. Pepper thought, fondly. Steve dutifully cleared his throat and opened the manual to the first page, then frowned. “Where are the safety regulations?”

Natasha rolled her eyes. “Ugh. For god’s sake, Steve.”

Peter held out his hand. “Here, let me have look. We can probably divide the tasks.”

Steve passed the manual to Peter, and apparently took this as his cue to address Peter directly. “So, how’s school, Pete?”

Peter jolted. “Oh. Uhm. It’s.. fine?” He said, and then seemingly did not know what else to say, so he buried his face in the manual.

“Sometimes, he talks _a lot_.” Ned said. “Other times, it’s like I’m just hanging out with a bucket with a face painted on it.”

“Thanks, Ned.” Peter murmured. “Great analogy.”

“I understand they’re still using my PSA’s?” Steve said.

“Oh, yeah!” Ned said, his head bobbing up and down, chuckling. “Peter told me about that note he wrote to you after he took your shield. But it’s all good now, right? - - What? What did I say?” He looked around uncertainly as all heads in the room had snapped up to him. Except for Peter, who didn’t look up from the manual, but just waved his hand. “Right – I maybe should’ve mentioned that Ned knows I’m Spider-man.”

“And in my defence,” Ned said, “He didn’t pull all those weird stunts until _after_ he left school and didn’t answer his phone anymore. I’ll have you know I’m a _very_ good influence on him.”

“Can we talk about something else?” Peter said, chagrined. “I’d prefer not to discuss how all the Avengers think I’m a ‘menace’ who should be in jail.”

“Trust me, I don’t think that anymore,” Natasha said. “Your voice is way too squeaky. Now – get on with it! Tell me what goes where. This chick with the weird hair had better get one of those laser thingies to kick some ass.”

Peter smiled, just a little.


	10. Pancakes

After several prototypes, Peter’s new Spider-Man suit was looking excellent. Tony felt that strange sense of elation again as he watched Peter walk back into his workshop after changing into it. The kid had a big smile on his face that Tony had rarely seen before. Peter tried a few buttons on his new web-shooters and everything worked flawlessly.

“And you built most of that all by yourself. I’m.. I’m proud of you.” Tony couldn’t remember ever saying that to anyone. It felt nice to say it. Peter just blinked at him.

Tony quickly coughed and went back to business. “Now, today after school, if you want, you can take this thing for a spin. I’m sure people will be happy to see you, there’s been some press about your absence.”

“ _Some_ people will be happy to see me.” Peter said. “That supermarket-thing made headlines, too.”

“Well, now’s the time to make up for it. And you know the rules, right? Friendly, neighbourhood Spider-Man. No graffiti, no throwing eggs from rooftops trying to hit cars, and definitely no stealing.”

“Huh,” Peter said. “I’ve never thrown eggs from rooftops. Interesting.”

“Don’t you go getting any ideas.” Tony warned him.

Peter smirked. “Don’t worry. I’m hardly going to risk it, am I?”

Tony wasn’t really sure what exactly the risk was, but all right. “Good. And don’t get involved in anything too big for you to handle, either! You leave the gunmen and the kidnappers to the police, you hear me? Just stick to the small stuff. If I hear about getting mixed up in anything else, I’m personally going to - ”

“Yeah, yeah..” Peter said, frowning now. “I know the deal, okay? I’ve been listening.”

“Excellent,” Tony nodded. “Well, Pepper will probably kill me for this, but uhm – shall we make pancakes again, tonight?”

“Sure,” Peter muttered. “If you take the heat from Pepper.”

That was the first time the boy finally used Pepper’s first name – and he didn’t even seem to realize it.

Tony smiled. “Will do.” Making pancakes was Tony’s latest discovery; an activity that Peter was comfortable doing with him outside of the workshop. Pepper had been thrilled about it at first, but less thrilled after she had had to eat pancakes for dinner three days in a row.

“I’m off, then,” Peter said, still looking a bit put out for some reason.

Tony nodded. “Behave,” he said. “I don’t want to get called into the principal’s office. That lady freaks me out.”

-

Tony remained in an excellent mood for the rest of the day, in spite of having to attend several boring meetings all over New York. After lunch, Happy drove him back to the tower and he went straight back to his workshop. He sent a message to Pepper, letting her know what would be on the menu for dinner, and then spent several hours happily working on an improved version of Captain America’s shield, loud music blasting from the speakers.

He turned around when the music suddenly died out. Pepper was in the doorway, face tight. “Tony.”

Tony lifted an eyebrow. “Is this about the pancakes? Because I can make a salad on the side, if you want.”

“F.R.I.D.A.Y., play the local news.” Pepper merely said. Tony turned to his screens to see a live report appear. A pile of rubble. Smoke. Firemen walking around, pointing. The voice-over of a female news reporter: “... fire spread to the rest of the building, which collapsed soon after, leaving one person still missing. Here is that footage from earlier today when Spider-Man appeared and entered the burning building, reappearing moments later carrying the home owner to safety. Before he could re-enter, the building collapsed. The injured woman was taken to the hospital and is stable. The cause of the fire is still unknown, but according to local authorities - ” Tony stared at the screen as it replayed the footage of Peter in his new suit swinging in straight through a window into _a freaking burning building_. “He.. Is he..?”

“He should be fine,” Pepper said, pacing the room. “The news says the building collapsed before he could re-enter and that he disappeared after that. But he isn’t answering his phone.”

“Okay..” Tony said, trying to calm his heartbeat. “Okay – that’s... he’s fine, then. I’ve put a tracker in his new suit – F.R.I.D.A.Y.?”

“I have a location on Peter Parker.” F.R.I.D.A.Y. reported immediately, showing the location on his screen. Tony squinted at it. “That’s.. those are the storage lockers. I’ll go right away.”

“Oh, I’m going with you.” Pepper said, grimly.

 _Poor kid_.

-

Just as they pulled up next to the storage lockers, F.R.I.D.A.Y. reported that Peter was on the move again. Pepper jumped from the car, slamming the door and marching up to the main entrance. Tony rushed after her. He had never actually been to Peter’s locker. Pepper had gone with Peter to collect his stuff last time, and she seemed to remember the way perfectly.

They rounded a corner, and almost bumped into a dishevelled looking Peter. He was wearing his normal clothes, but still holding one of his webshooters in one hand, and a large plastic bag in the other.


	11. Perfectly parental

“Shit!” Peter yelped, jumping back and lifting the webshooter.

Pepper planted her hands on her hips. “Are you going to _shoot_ that stuff at me?”

“I...” Peter croaked. “I don’t _want_ to...”

“Then you’d better lower that thing, Peter Benjamin Parker, unless you want to get into even more trouble than you already are!”

Peter flinched. “I didn’t- I just wanted to help..” He looked really upset and Pepper noticed the red eyes and trembling bottom lip.

“Peter,” she said, calmly but sternly. “Lower that thing and let’s talk about this.” She eyed the large plastic bag Peter was holding. “Please tell me you weren’t trying to run away?”

“I _know_ what our deal was, okay?” Peter said. He seemed to be barely able to hold back his tears. “B-but there was a fire and I could hear people inside..”

“Lower that thing, Peter.” Pepper said.

“Okay..” Peter said, slowly. “If you _promise_ we’re just going to talk.”

“I’m not going to hit you, if that’s what you think.” Pepper snapped, regretting her words immediately after saying them and biting her bottom lip.

Peter just sniffed. “I didn’t think _that_.” He did lower the webshooter, though, and tucked it away. He slid down to the floor, leaning against the wall and wrapping his arms around his knees.

Pepper knelt beside him. She was aware of Tony awkwardly standing behind her, but focussed on Peter for now.

“Listen, Peter. We’re not happy about what you did, even though we understand it came from the best intentions. The reasons why we don’t want you to put your own life on the line is something we can discuss in detail, later. Right now, I’m even more concerned about the fact that you wouldn’t answer your phone afterwards, and that you apparently weren’t planning on coming back home at all.”

“Well, I knew you’d come after me,” Peter said, sounding on the verge of tears.

“Of course we’d come after you, we were worried!” Pepper exclaimed. “Sure. Sometimes you’ll do something stupid. But we can always work that out, there’s no reason to run away. You can’t be perfect all the time and we don’t expect you to be.”

“Y-yeah?” Peter stuttered, bottom lip quivering. “And at what p-point are you going to decide that I’m not worth the trouble and you’re just going to send me to the r-raft?”

Pepper was utterly confused. “Send you _where_?” She asked at the same moment that Tony said “Oh --- crap.”

Pepper turned to him. “What? What does that mean? Tony.. did you threaten our kid with a maximum security prison?”

“Well, that was before I really knew him,” Tony said. “And I kind of forgot about it.”

If Peter hadn’t been there, Pepper would have kicked Tony in the shins right now. Instead, she just shot him a death glare before turning back to Peter. “Peter, we’re _not_ sending you to prison. That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard. Although you are grounded for putting yourself at risk, because we want you to be safe. You’re coming back home with us.”

“Okay,” Peter said in a small voice.

Pepper dropped a kiss in his hair, then got up and looked straight at Tony. “You. Fix this.” She said, and then walked back towards the entrance.

“Uhm – Pep?” Tony said behind her, a panicked look on his face.

Pepper turned near the corner. “I’ll be in the car whenever you’re ready,” she said. And then she was gone.

An uncomfortable silence descended. Tony stared down at the sniffling Peter, his hands clenched into fists and his chest feeling tight. So much for Pepper dealing with the feelings and emotions. He had no clue what to say.

“You don’t have to talk to me,” Peter finally said, dully. “I know you don’t want to. I’ll tell Pepper you were perfectly parental.”

“Sounds good.” Tony said, relieved.

Peter got to his feet unsteadily, his eyes red and puffy, and Tony felt like an utter sack of shit.

He swallowed. “Look – that thing about the raft.. that was back when I didn’t know _why_ you were robbing supermarkets. I just figured I needed it to keep you in line.”

“Whatever.” Peter said, sniffling again.

“Uhm – can you at least stop crying? I can’t handle it when you cry.”

“Well, TOO FUCKING BAD!” Peter yelled at him, wiping furiously at his eyes. “B-because FYI, I cry all the time. And don’t f-flatter yourself that this is all about you. As hard as it might be for you to believe, I actually g-get a little upset when a girl dies in a fire.” He was back to sobbing now, his shoulders trembling.

“Oh” Tony said, as he suddenly remembered the news headlines. _One person still missing_. “That’s... that’s not on you, kid.”

“Piss off, you don’t even care.”

“Of course I care!” Tony said, frustrated. “This is the whole reason why I told you not to get involved in anything big. You’re too young to be worrying about saving people’s lives.”

“So I should just ignore them? Just walk away when I could actually do something?” Peter asked angrily, tears still shimmering in his eyes.

“Listen,” Tony said urgently, stepping closer to Peter. He wanted to put a hand on the kid’s shoulder, but Peter already looked a bit alarmed at his sudden nearness, so he didn’t. “Look, kid, I know the movies make it seem like a piece of cake. You hear about it all the time: People running into burning buildings. And if they save someone, that’s great. But if they are overcome by smoke and lose consciousness, they’re just making the problem bigger. Your suit has some thermal protection, but it is not flame-resistant, nor does it have some kind of filter to keep you from choking to death in a fire. You are not any more or less responsible for saving lives than anyone else. At least not until you’re older and better capable of calculating risks. You already got shot once.”

“That was just because your stupid suit distracted me.” Peter muttered.

“Didn’t we already go over all of this this morning?” Tony said. “I thought we agreed on the friendly neighbourhood Spider-Man format?”

Peter lifted his chin a little in a first sign of defiance. “Well, yeah, but I was only agreeing with you because I thought you might lock me in an underwater prison.”

Tony sighed. _Touché_. “Look.. it can’t be news to you that I screw up all the time, too. That’s why we’re lucky to have Pepper. I get anxious about this stuff just as much as you do.”

Peter looked confused. “Why would you? You have everything. The money, the dream job... the super-human alter-ego.” He weakly joked.

“Well, yes, but.. I still worry. Because you’re a kid, and I mess up everyone I touch.”

“I’m already messed up, anyways.” Peter reminded him.

Tony felt something tug at his heart at those words. He reached forward and pulled the boy into a fierce hug. He felt Peter’s muscles tense up, and for a second he almost wanted to let go again and hastily apologize, but then he noticed Peter turning his head to lean it against Tony’s shoulder, and clutching the front of his shirt. Tony swallowed, not sure where to put his hands. He carefully rubbed circles on Peter’s back. He had never really hugged anyone like this, apart from Pepper. But he didn’t want to let go.

“Don’t die on me, kid,” he whispered. “Believe it or not, we care a lot about you.”

Peter extracted himself from his arms to wipe at his eyes again. He nodded. “Yeah. Okay”.

Tony put a hand on his shoulder. “Let’s go home, then. We’ve got some pancakes to make.”


	12. A month later

_Five things I see_. A tree. A rock. A bridge. A clock. A weathervane with a rooster.

 _Five things I hear_. A bee. The wind. Laughter. Cars. Wings of a bird flying by.

 _Five things I feel_. The wind. The bench. My shoes. The sun. My hand on top of my knee.

He sees Pepper approaching from the terrace. Her eyes are kind, like they always are, even when she’s telling him off for being an idiot.

“Everything okay?” She asks.

“Yeah,” Peter says. “Just doing this thing Darcy taught me.”

“Because you’re nervous?” Pepper asks shrewdly.

“YOU’re nervous,” Peter mutters. God, does he sound lame. “Is Ned done?”

“Yes. And the officer is gone.” Pepper sits down in the grass next to him. “For what it’s worth, I think you did great. Whatever happens next, you did the right thing.”

“Yeah,” Peter mutters, thickly. “I just don’t want her to hate me.”

“She won’t,” Pepper says. “She already gave her own statement, you and Ned just confirmed it. Maybe give her a call, sometimes? Ned tells me you still haven’t given her your new number. I know she lives far away now, but you can always invite her over.”

Peter mutters something.

“Talk to us if anything is bothering you, all right?” Pepper says. “I want you to be comfortable.”

She’s always saying that. Like how she moved him to a smaller room, but Peter still prefers to sleep under the bed. It’s just a thing from back home, where his uncle would regularly barge into his room in the middle of the night, drunk out of his mind, dragging him out of bed to yell at him about irrelevant things. Pepper had been a little exasperated at first, but then she had arranged for another mattress, pillow and blanket to be put underneath the bed. Because she is awesome like that. She doesn’t know every nasty thing his uncle has ever done, but that’s okay; she knows Peter.

What the hell has he ever done to deserve a Pepper Potts in his life?

“Are you ready to go inside, then?” Pepper asks gently. “Ned said something about playing Mario Kart. Steve has already googled it and is excited to get started. They’re just waiting for you.”

Peter smiles. He’s feeling.. sort of happy. “Steve is nice,” he says randomly, immediately feeling a little embarrassed.

But Pepper smiles widely. “I’m glad to hear that,” she says. “Maybe you can help him beat Tony. He has been trash talking Steve and Natasha for the last ten minutes.”

-

“Kid!” Tony yells as Peter enters the room. “You’re on team Iron Man, right? We’re gonna beat these suckers.”

“Nope, sorry Tony.” Peter says, flopping down on the couch between Steve and Ned and grabbing a controller. “I’m on Team Captain. Is Donkey Kong taken?”

“What the hell!” Tony exclaims. “Betrayed by my own kid. Well, suit yourself! I’ll beat the four of you on my own! Could do it in my sleep, if I wanted to.”

“Oh, really?” Peter says, smugly. “Coming from the guy who was doing fifty in a sixty-five zone yesterday.”

“Hey!” Tony protests as the others laugh. “I’m used to _being_ driven, all right? And what did I tell you about my car being like Vegas?”

Peter sticks his tongue out at him.

Tony finishes in last place in the first round, obviously, after everyone else had just constantly pelted him with shells. Peter wins easily.

“Okay, I need people on _my_ team now,” Tony whines.

“Look who’s suddenly a team player!” Natasha says. “Forget it. Team Cap is going strong, nothing can break us up!”  
“Yeah,” Steve said. “And actually, we’re renaming it team Spider-Man, because Peter is beating your ass from here to Asgard and back.”

“Oh, really,” Tony says, looking very mischievous suddenly. “How about a little incentive?”

“Nothing can break us up!” Ned repeats.

“Nothing,” Steve says.

“No-thing,” Natasha confirms.

“Hmmm,” Tony says, eyes glinting. “How about this. Whoever joins my team can come along to Peter’s next parent-teacher conference.”

A short silence, as Peter gazes at Tony in horror. Then, Natasha and Steve whip up their hands as one man. “We’re on team Iron Man!”

Pepper watches from the other end of the lobby as Peter groans and hides his face in a cushion. The kid has come a long way. Sure, he still sleeps under his bed, he still sees Darcy twice a week, and this morning he was too scared to talk to the police officer alone. But right now, at this very moment, he seems more relaxed than ever.

Yes, she thinks as she watches Peter chuck the cushion at Tony. In the end, maybe Tony wasn’t _exactly_ what Peter needed. But Peter was _exactly_ what Tony needed to become _exactly_ the person that Peter needed.

She smiles. She’s suddenly in the mood to have pancakes for dinner, and she knows _exactly_ who will be making them for her.

 

_Fin._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the read!  
> English is not my native language, so any feedback on spelling/choice of words etc. is appreciated!


	13. quick update

Hi!

I want to add some one-shots to follow up on 'I told you I had issues'. I've just published the first one.  
If you read this story and liked it (in which case, yay I'm happy!) go check it out!  
If anyone has prompts for a one-shot, I’d be happy to use them, too.

Thanks for reading!


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